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Red flags in online matchmaking and what to do

3 min read

Be cautious if someone asks for money, avoids video calls, pushes you off the platform quickly, rushes towards commitment, tells inconsistent stories or pressures you to keep things secret from family. One sign alone may have an innocent explanation, but a pattern deserves a pause and, often, a report.

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Money and financial requests

Any request for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or help with a fee, visa, medical bill or business problem is a serious warning, especially from someone you have not met. So are offers to help you invest. Do not send money or share bank details, however sympathetic the story.

Pressure and pace

Healthy interest is patient. Pressure is a way of reducing your chance to check things.

  • Declaring strong feelings or marriage intentions very early.
  • Pushing to move to a private messaging app straight away.
  • Insisting on secrecy from your family or friends.
  • Making you feel guilty for wanting time to think.
  • Getting angry when you set a boundary.

Inconsistent details

Notice when job, location, age or family details shift between conversations, when photos look professionally staged or do not match on video, or when the person always has a reason they cannot meet or call. Asking for a short video call is a reasonable step, and a genuine person will usually agree.

Disrespect and control

Comments that belittle you, your family or your boundaries, demands to know where you are, or requests for intimate photos are red flags whatever the stage of the conversation. Respect at the beginning is the minimum, not a bonus.

Green flags worth noticing too

Watching only for problems can make every conversation feel tense. It helps to notice the positive signs as well: someone who is consistent over time, happy to video call, respectful when you say no or need more time, comfortable involving family when you are ready, and curious about your life rather than only describing their own. These signs do not guarantee anything, but they are a good basis for continuing carefully.

What to do

Pause the conversation, talk to someone you trust and do not share anything further. On shaadi.si you can block and report a member from their profile or conversation. Keep screenshots. If you have lost money or feel threatened, contact your bank and local police.

Frequently asked questions

Is avoiding video calls always a red flag?

Not always, as some people are shy. But if it continues while they pursue a serious connection, be cautious and do not move forward without it.

What should I do if I already sent money?

Contact your bank or payment provider immediately, keep all messages, report the profile and consider reporting to local police.

Will the person know I reported them?

On shaadi.si reports are reviewed by moderators. You can also block the person so they can no longer contact you.

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General information only, not legal, financial or religious advice.

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